Principles of Emulsion

and Happy Anniversary to us

Photo: Dan Murano

On this day sixteen years ago, two people got dressed up and stood before family, friends, and the Caribbean Sea. The wind showed up, too. They looked into each other’s eyes and stated for the record their decision to wed and their commitment to making it work.

On the eve of a total lunar eclipse, they ate buttery Puerto Rican avocado under a tent and red velvet cupcakes for dessert. They danced to Motown and funk and whatever else DJ Stylus had up his sleeve.

From the outset, they knew that all they could do was their best, because nothing lasts forever, even when everybody is on board. They knew this was going to be far from perfect because what is, really. They knew that people just die, like her father, and that people grow apart, like his parents.

So far, these two disparate elements – he a high school quiz team champion from Kentucky, she a pot-stirrer from Philly’s Main Line – have made it intact. Love keeps them together. But love is never enough.

It’s the whisking. It’s the shaking of the jelly jar. It’s the attention they give to this ongoing work in progress.

Oil and vinegar are natural antagonists, but when forcibly whisked or shaken, they make a helluva vinaigrette. It’s the most basic of emulsions, the union of two liquids that always need help getting there.

It’s stable long enough to dress a salad – and then just like that, it isn’t.

“Emulsions,” said the food scientist Harold Mcgee, “have always been considered fickle concoctions.”

Through intentional agitation, we bring things into balance. We call each other on our respective piles of shit. We ask each other hard questions. We hold each other’s hands. We give each other space. We celebrate both the mundane and the profound because today is what we have.

We acknowledge that we don’t always understand what is happening. But when we pay attention, the sauce is seamless. Even if for just a few minutes, a few bites of salad, chicories that we both love for their bittersweet crunch.

Postscript/correction: Food scientist Harold McGee’s name was misspelled in the original post and has been updated.